If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
