what day is it and did you see me today?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
His nipple licking is glorious
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