There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Randomize
