My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
