What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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