I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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