dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Randomize
