so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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