that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
