Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You need Xanax blowdarts
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
