I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
