I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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