she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
