She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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