blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
