the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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