I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
