Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
