brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
