I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
