I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
