How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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