I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
