i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
