i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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