at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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