I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I look better un-naked...
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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