ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
