Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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