They should really pass out barf bags in church
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Why can't burritos get me drunk
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize