And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
it hurts more in the daytime
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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