Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
