marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
if you like me you must not know who I am
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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