I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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