I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
