apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
There's a naked man in my car right now.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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