If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
