It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
