Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
