Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
