My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Randomize
