I looked at my own cervix.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
