You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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