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• (212): View more from New York

  brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp

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• (434): View more from Virginia

  why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?

  (540): View more from Virginia

  you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.

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• (518): View more from New York

  I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.

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• (912): View more from Georgia

  Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.

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• (928): View more from Arizona

  It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one

  (602): View more from Arizona

  When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them

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• (917): View more from New York City

  I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals

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• (206): View more from Washington

  Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask

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