I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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