you win again, gameday.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize