YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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