Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Boobs are out for the taking
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
