vagina is talking i cant
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
