i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
