5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
