guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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