sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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