Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
