Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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