He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
