That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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