John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
