I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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