No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
