well you can't waste a boner
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
you never un-have a 4some
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
