Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
