i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
