when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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