I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize