we're blogging at a bar
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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