btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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