dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
