the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
