my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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