Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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